toolshed

Honestly, I feel like a fool after today.

It was humiliating + embarassing *insert nggh1 emote*. BAAAH.

I had all the words lined up in my head, ready to shout out the commands... but the words sound different when they've been hurled out of my voicebox.

Something as simple as "By the right, change direction, right, right wheel" turns into "By the right, we'll move to the right turn?" (or something even more atrocious than that)

BAH. I'm so frustrated with myself. : There is NO coordination whatsoever. NO BLOODY COORDINATION.

I want to scream.

At home, I practise and practise. Everything is PERFECT.


I hate pressure, I think I react badly to it.

Did I even mindblank today? I don't remember anything except the humiliation felt at the realisation I had made a freaking stupid mistake. How can something so little make me want to curl up into a ball and bury myself.


Actually, I don't know why that happened today. Was it really pressure? Bah.

The respect I have for myself has gone down drastically.


I want to drop ext 2. My ideas have run dry. I have no exact plot.


I can feel so much negativity thickly suspended in the air.

I wish the hike would just come. Daily life is zooming by so quickly; nature has this sense of tranquility, and a day seems to pass by in good time, when it does finally feel like a day, like 24 hours. Everyday here in civilisation, I feel like I can't accomplish anything in one day.

I turn my head away from the window in the afternoon to start homework and when I look back up at the sky, its all dark, and my parents are telling me to eat dinner.

A:E FKJSDFKLSD FRUSTRATION!!!!