Mood: scared
Currently: Freaking the crap out of myself by thinking about my future.
When I say freaking the crap out of myself, I mean, the whole shaking hands, jittery body, suddenly feeling feverish episodes.
Oh man.
After today's year meeting I really just want to shoot everything and just hope everything ends asap or that everything just STOPS and nothing happens.
I just feel like time is running out.
I feel so out of touch... with everything.
My future looks grim.
Perhaps I should start digging a hole for myself.
MAN. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hate the "talks" that the principal gives. Especially the one she gave today. It felt really demoralising. Right to the point I'm feeling so low just over lousy marks, I feel like I have psychological problems.
Man.. the year meeting should have just been presentation & awards. No talks or whatever. Maybe its just me, but most of what they said, I already knew. But things like, balace work and play... BLAH BLAH STOP STATING THE OBVIOUS ALREADY.
And wth was with that LOWEST UAI MARK taunt. Man. WHAT the heck is she drumming into our minds.
Geez. She's starting to mess with the way I think and feel about myself.
Great.
You know what else is burdening me?
The freaking "recession". Technically it isn't even a recession.
Nevertheless I hate it.
Why?
We have more stuff to learn, more statistics etc in economics (though it does make economics feel more REAL and relevant to my everyday life).
LESS JOBS IN THE AREA I WANT TO APPLY IN.
If my mood will not lift before Friday, I am not driving. I do not want to put people's life at risk. Bahaahaaa (that was a lame attempt at being jokerish. I can't do it. My spirit is broken. MEEEND IT SOMEONE. btw. I'm a good driver, despite whatever you men may say, but I'm a pretty darn good lady driver).
BTW. 2 marks in 2ueng = 40 ranks.
Lots of food for thought.
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5 counterattacks:
Stop worrying and breathe! Concentrate on your breaths and focus on your present state. If thoguhts come to your head, don't judge them, just acknowledge they are present and let them go.
Bosco's teaching you to be mindful.
Why are you worrying so much? Do you think you can change the facts by worrying? Yes, it's a recession but who is to say that it'll last a lifetime? You have to keep into perspective that it will end, like any another financial crisis in history.
Do you actually listen to your principal? Most of them usually just blab on anyway... Just put your head back in assembly and enjoy yourself, seriously! Each individual is different. Sounds your principal is trying to pressure all the Year 12's... At the end of the day all she sees is a list of results and statistics, ie she's probably more concerned about the school as a whole, than the performance of an individual because she wants the school continue looking good academically?
"I'm a good driver" -- Usually people who are good at particular things are modest and don't say that they're good themselves. =P Nah, I'm sure you're a good driver =D
You were so happy in your last blog post, why the juxtaposition? Cheer up!
Good luck =D
Much juxtaposition to the previous post. You need to chill. Low UAI is not the end of the world despite what people at our school think.
I would type more, but Tibu is chilling on my other hand so it's a bit hard.
I'm not sure if it'll help much, but something I'd like to share:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" [Matt 6:26-27] Think, but don't linger. There are more important things in life to focus on.
Ms Connors herself said, its not over yet. Besides, we're all here for each other =) [except when people ramble on about UAI]
as for driving- girls can drive good. Girls can get their Ps first time -_-" [hard to admit, but bleagh]. But yeah, best not drive when your mind is occupied.
Get better soon, ya? Get some proper rest, and Bosco's advice is good =)
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