Flight of the Concords

OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE THING TODAY!

Crankypot part 2

Today was fine, until jazz ensemble that is.

I hate not being able to read music as well.. I hate the fact that my parents see learning music as "useless" and "time/money wasting".

It's not fair. I wish my parents were the type to push me into learning piano, making me practice an hour a day, or however much they practice. Its a skill that stays, and I'm sorry to say I don't have it.

The song we're learning in jazz at the moment- it's a nightmare. I can't read/sing the notes and everyone drowns my part out. I feel frustrated and stressed, and then I can feel my throat closing up.. making it ever so hard to get a sound out. What I don't get the most is why I get the most retarded, unpredicatable, outnumbered parts that are SO HARD TO SING. I have a music disability... I can't hear the song once or twice and remember all those twisty difficult notes.

BAAAAAAAH. I don't even want to stress over this stupid thing, but I am. And that is my quandary.


I can't believe my dad doesn't see having post HSC plans is an incentive for me at the moment. He says I can't go interstate/go away/stay someplace overnight, and I definately cannot go to Hong Kong OR ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE>

I. HATE. THESE. RESTRICTIONS.

[blah blah blah cliché teenaged girl wants independence] Far out.


OTHER RANT.

WHAT'S UP WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LOOK INVOLVED, BUT DO NOT GET INVOLVED?! Asking for a bit of their time to do something for the greater good results in a friggin' dark stare and a "Do I have to?"

If you bloody had to, why would I be asking you. Far out. GAH. Prefects. A whole bunch of mismatched people. I hate it when people only do things if they get something out of it. You do things because YOU CAN and because YOU CAN HELP ANOTHER IN NEED, even if it is something trivial, it makes ALL the difference to some things.

I don't hate people who are stingy with money. I hate those who are stingy to PEOPLE. =_=;
I hate those who:
- accuse other people of hypocrisy; what the heck man. All humans have flaws and hypocrisy is yours too. I don't believe anyone has not said anything hypocritical before. It's a freaking lie.
- think their time is precious, and like to waste other people's. The world does not revolve around you. Some people like helping out, but it doesn't mean you fully use them to do all the things you could easily do.
- think they're failures. I mean honestly, eat a teaspoon of cement or something and harden up.
- think they're rich and like to flaunt it. I'd like to say YOU ARE NOT RICH. You are people who are DRY and BARREN on the inside, and you think of nothing but showing off your bucks and how much you can rub it in other's faces.
- say they'll do thinks, but they don't. What a let down.

BAAAAAH. CRANKY POTS HAS RETURNED. I IMMENSELY DISLIKE THIS WORLD BECAUSE OF ALL THE INCONSIDERATE BEINGS IN IT. D: D:

Thank Goodness we only have around 5 million years left on this planet.

Ultimate Cranks

I HATE FEELING CRANKY BECAUSE IT MAKES ME BASH MY KEYBOARD --> SORE FINGERS. BUT I AM CRANKY NONETHELESS.

My fingers hurt.

- jarred 2 fingers from trying to set a ball that Cheryl served =_=; yesterday

- KEYBOARD BASHING

- starting to play guitar for prolonged periods of time --> This is retarded... I still have nylon strings on my classical... *grump*



BAAAAAH IM SO CRANKY



But I shouldn't be BECAUSE...



This morning my two lovely Amazon-ordered Japanese dictionaries arrived. IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS. When I was expecting it to arrive in April (they told me it would be arriving in April).



Both from Kodansha- Kanji and Furigana Dictionary.

Today was sort of retarded. I wish I had more me time. D: I wish I didnt have jazz tomorrow.. I would have been able to unwind at GJ during free/jazz time *sigh* but my sister's friend asked me if I could help her with math tomorrows. >.>;


Stupid internet. Keeps disconnecting me. I've tried to post this blog 3-4 times already. DSKF:SLDKF

New lockers? because they want to chuck out all the yellow labelled ones in the SCR. WTH MAN. WHY do all the year 11s get the top row :@ The relocation of my locker is BOTTOM row now.. where people stack their bags. Which is fricking retarded. !!!!! I want to punch something.

Everything bothers me today.

SEE THAT SPOT?

Today, during volleyball, I lunged to dig the ball back & I succeeded. Consequently, I made little squeaky skidding noises from my ankle sliding on the floorboard.

Crazily enough, it wasn't on the bone and it's so small.

PICTURES; (I feel the need to show and tell)
slightly above my ankle. painful as. D:

a few minutes later, you can see a blister bubble forming D:

That aside, today was a rather plain one, but perhaps it was just me.

Due to my lack of rest/sleep, I kept drifting into microsleeps (I believe I had one leading up to a spike... the ball hit me in the face..).

The good ol' planning day for SRC:

Biggest grats to Billy, Tanya, Alan, Yi and Debs. :) the SRC Exec of 2009. [ I feel slightly unprepared to be seated once again in the inbuilt seats of the lecture theatre, after sitting up the front for an entire year. I'll miss being able to see everyone's faces. Now I shall recognise the whole SRC group by the backs of their heads.]

Hope you guys make the most of 09 :) And I think I have to make a speech for induction. Uh-oh.

Spent 2 periods today electing the execs, steering committee reps and task group reps. D: Took so long.

The three task groups got together and brainstormed for new ideas to implement in 09. :) I have to say, they're pretty good and I am looking forward to seeing stuff changing around the school.

A few days ago, I handed back my noticeboard key to Ms. Wratten. I enjoyed the superior feeling that came with the key. I got to open and close whenever I wanted :) Not much, but felt like alot :) I'll miss that key.

Hmm. I'm not writing in chronological order at all!

1. Morning class D:

2. SRC Planning Day

3. Recess

4. Free in SCR

5. Lunch

6. Volleyball

Note: No class :)

So I've talked vaguely about volleyball and src. Onto morning class.

Morning Class

Is meant for doom. I hate how it's on Wednesdays and Mondays now. :( cos I always have a double free on Wednesday. Blah blah boring boring useless chatter about stuff I won't even touch upon in the exams (!! DRAFT EXAM SCHEDULE IS UP D: ) However, it is the only class I have with Cheryl. The only class I've had with her since our 6W days at NRPS. This thought is the one that makes me roll out of bed in the wee hours of the morning.

Recess

Being the muscley woman I am, and Cheryl being unexpectedly forgetful I did our recycling duties by myself today. Only until today, did I realise how much this recycling duty I have, made me do lots more "small talk" with teachers and staff.

E.g. Today I visited the:

Music room- met Mr Wong, and he was telling me about how he found me on facebook! Lol. And when he saw my stunned expression, he went on to tell me the other staff who had facebook xD Maybe we'll be fb friends xD lol.

Print Room- Okay, I still don't know her name, but the friendly lady in the printroom ALWAYS chats to me. I used to respond and contribute to our conversation out of politeness but it's a different story nowadays. I like chatting to her (not because I'm destined to be a gossipy mother when I get older) BUT ITS SO INTERESTING. SHE KNOWS SO MUCH :) I just want to suck up as much as I can as a prefect.

PE STAFF- Lol. Low saw me lugging the bags of paper away from his table and remarks "So, heard you and Sharon got SRC" (Because we rarely have roll call, I totally forgot he was our rollcall teacher) HAAA. and he laughed and laughed and laughed. - Mainly over Sharon I think :) Funny chap. I found him on fb once ... humdidum. Then we went on to talk about how much waste the PE staff emitted. Funny.. Cheryl and I should have huge arms now because of the PE dept.'s ENORMOUS loads of unwanted paper.

But in the end, it just brings me to think about how much I'll miss the school & people after I graduate.

Free in SCR

When I walked into the SCR, I wave of humidity slapped me on the face and automatically, my first sentence was "Can we turn the aircon on?" M8 were watching 40 days and 40 nights- not my type of movie honestly. In his dream, Josh Harnett is flying over a sea of boobies (seriously a SEA. All the boobies are like connected and they are in a wavy motion...). So weird. So that was what happened in the free.

Lunch

My favourite. Loooong lunches on Wednesday. We stayed in the SCR and continued watching that dreadful movie until a group of people started protesting - due to the increasing scenes of mature adult stuff, that I think I'm not ready for.. haha. and then we watched AVATAR. ♥

***

Have not blogged like this in ages. Last night I was thinking how on earth I could make myself to continue blogging like I used to. I guess today, I'm a step closer. :)

_A horrible thought just hit me_

I have almost quadruple jap tomorrow. *dies* homework overdose.

Righteo, I'm off. Hope you guys have a lovely Thursday + Friday :) (and Saturday and Sunday.. and the days after those)

♥ U- Chrishan

My fave rnb artist today :)

zzz

Haha, i was just google imagine "i hate school" and i came across this blog with lots of profanity.

omg. nearly 2am

stupid morning class. D:

NO BLOODY HEADSHOTS

This is the inside bit of Lucy's folder. LOOK WHAT SHARVIKA DID TO IT. Yellow ducks. ;D
Most of the pencil bits = mine :) I should listen more in eco. I never listen. I just spend the lesson annoying those around me. How fun.


PREFECTS DODGEBALL EXHIBITION TODAY;

Senior spectators (who weren't exactly epectating..)

RETARDED YEAR 12s (lol jk) WHO KEPT CHUCKING HEADSHOTS AT THE LITTLE JUNIORS *cough Danny* and we got busted for that :( No one listened to the voice on the loudspeaker telling them NO HEADSHOTS. *sigh*

Our Exhibition game in the quad. :) There was quite a large turn out *phew*. In the first few minutes of lunch, I was starting to feel disappointed at the lack of interest from the juniors ;D

Mel, Michael and Milo :O (triple M) taking in the Dodgeball forms.

SRC planning day tomorrow. Hope things all go well. Strange, its only 4 periods tomorrow. Last year, planning day was the whole day plus. Electing the new execs are going to take so long D:

guilty

i became the "monster" in my story today.

i dont know why i still feel bitter. thought i left everything behind, but i guess it's really hard to avoid the topic.

anyway long story short. recounting a story to cheryl, about my anger, my relief, blah, and cheryl starts laughing cos she hasnt seen me so comical before (i guess) and then i start laughing..

wait, im digressing.

what i wanted to say was sorry. i wish things weren't like this. i wish i wasnt so angry and bitter all the time.

it was a mistake- they were all mistakes , and i wont ever make them again.

and i am sorry for my crypticness.

D; i'm just tired.

POST HSC LIST

1. Go overseas if I can. America, Canada + Asia are the main places I want to visit. I never really wanted to go to America when I was a kid, but I guess since my cousin lives near Seattle now, I guess I want to visit. Plus I was photosurfing on fb, one of my friends are in Seattle atm, and it's so beautiful. D: I love it. I also really really really like straight streets.. and when I was googlemapping earlier on, i found this *pic above*. WTH MAN. The streets are so straight and so long. I LOVE IT. It's like Canberra but un-hole-ish.

2. Picnic at Observatory Hill with friends

3. Go karoke lots

4. If I don't go o/s I want to go interstate or somewhere far away with friends for about a week (before I get sick of them xD)

5. Beach at least 5 time's if I don't go overseas

6. Try partying/ clubbing- some say its fun.. I'm not sure if it's my thing

7. Try a mojito. :D

8. Bring a frame to the beach, set up the camera, use the frame as a prop, stand in it and TAKE! yay. can't find an image like this online :(

9. taste test people's cooking skillz *winkwink*

10. meet up with my wonderful 6W buddies whom i have not seen for too long :)

11. GET A JOB. Man, I can't believe that after March, I will be unemployed. I've been employed for the majority of my high school life ! D:

12. take lots of photos with my lovely Ruse kiddos.

13. Redecorate my room

14. Learn more songs on guitar

15. RESTRING MY GUITAR, or get a proper acoustic one :D

lost in space

i love my current wallpaper.

I've been googling for ages. I want to look for a picture that has a PICTURE FRAME with one corner stuck in the sand at the beach, but I can't find one.

made a list of TODO things post hsc.

will post another day :)

Yay for hydration

Why do I have to wake up with that little bit of hair sticking in that direction every morning? It's totally unfair. xD Damn natural waves...

It's pouring. By the bucket loads.

Most Shocking Fact For the Day ( MSFFTD): Rapidshare account expired ?! *breaks down* I was going to download Dumbo today. Damnit.

I've never liked torrential rain, or thunder, or lighting. I was in the city once when the sky basically opened up and dumped this sea of cloudy water on us. Water was running down the middle of roads, no one had dry feet- water reached ankle level.

So I just took a short video. Since I've moved here, I haven't seen the rain come down like that before. I've seen hail 3 times, but rain this strong only once :) I just watched the video, and you can hear Koop in the background singing "Come to Me". It's a nice jazzy song to listen to on a rainy day.

Rain stopped, but I can still hear thunder, and occasionally see lightning.

Suddenly lost the motivation to blog. =_=;

closure

what we want, we cannot get. however..

what i wanted, i already had. i just never embraced it.

i have a positive light.


i have done something i've planned for months, i haven't felt this good in so long. you know those huge crazy mazes in those puzzle books? i feel like i've been stuck in one for so long, but i've just reached the point where i can see the exit. before i stumbled from dead end to dead end, feelings of hope provoked when i think i see an exit, bitter disappointment to discover that it was misleading.

what i held in for the past 9 months, i've regurgitated. and haha it wasnt pretty but it felt pretty damn good.


and now i finally get to sleep peacefully well..

Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in, winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing
So hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

{Chorus}
Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am
Flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so
Isolated so
Motivated
I am
Certain now that I am

{Chorus}

So turn
up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment for forever

Defense is paper thin
Just
One touch and I'll be in
Too
Deep now to ever swim
Against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away

{Chorus}

My hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...


♥

What's wrong with space? Why do people always feel compelled to fill up that space?

Hmm. When I didn't have internet, I wrote this huge bitter essay lol that I was going to post. But after having slept on it for a couple of days, I've decided against it. After reading it, I feel very proud. It has alot of language techniques. It's eloquent and very passionate.

When I'm angry I can spill the loveliest arrangements of words..

Densha Otoko

Last time I was in Shanghai, I stayed in a bookstore for HOURS AND HOURS and ended up buying this book (Densha Otoko- Train Man), Pride and Prejudice, and Gone with the Wind.



I love all three books.



Pride and Prejudice- Mr Darcy

Gone with the Wind- The hugeness of the book

Densha Otoko- The ASCII images created. It was MIND BLOWING.



Here's a collection of webcam snapshots I took earlier today to show you all :) I LOVE IT

Moomin Valley

mushroom cloud

lots of little men holding swords :) katanas i think

they're all make with japanese characters, symbols, punctuation etc. it's brilliant.

♥ Pearl and the Puppets- because i do

hawhaw

so i was studying earlier today. and i thought "HOLY CRAP. I LOST MY PENS" as I only took out two pens from my pencil case and both were missing from the table. My sister pops in and says "WTH BELLE. You're nuts". Yeeahh, the green pen then falls off my ear. WHY IS MY EAR SO INSENSITIVE. D: I totally forgot i shoved my pens above my ears ;D censored my face again because.. well no one really wants to see that anyway :)

Jung Ideal vs. Real Test Introversion 43% 46% Extroversion 76% 70% Intuitive 46% 63% Sensing 76% 76% Feeling 60% 70% Thinking 73% 60% Judging 76% 56% Perceiving 40% 66% ideal you real you ideal type - ESTJ, real type - ESFP

Take Free Jung Ideal vs. Real Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

WELL. I WATCHED AMERICAN PIE TODAY. I'm never going to watch that again. Seeing a guy sex an applepie is just not my thing.

GAARGGH HOMEWORK. :(

TO THE ONE I LOVE SO MUCH;
I'm so glad I've got you back. I can finally youtube again. The week you were missing from my life, a part of me was cruelly ripped away. But now we are united once again, and I AM FEELING TOTALLY STRESSED BECAUSE I HAVEN'T STARTED MY HOMEWORK YET.


we have a love hate relationship

it's been a while

i havent had access to the net in DAYS. phones lines at home died. stupid tpg ruined. everything.
now im using free wifi at maccas :)

Remember this?

I miss our old tv shows. I'd rather watch this .. than something ridiculous like Hi5. =__=;

INHERTITED DAD'S GENES

Stupid genes. I can't have straight hair like a normal asian girl.

wth. i blogged twice yesterday?

hmm. i just went to check my posts and I noticed that I had two drafts ! Last night when I was typing up this post, my dad rudely turned off the modem and told me to go to bed. >=( So yeaah. Didn't get to publish this.. or finish my msn convos. =-=;

I feel like I'm fbing more this year than ever before. I'm doing alot of stuff not related to study... D:

Anyway. nothing more to report for today. D: school tomorrow.

Yesterday's blog below:

CLICK ME TO SEE DOUBLEHEADED FISH



Amazing. And also bloody retarded. Evolution or Deformity? D:



No. What am I thinking... can't be evolution. They die after 45 hrs.





ANYWAAYSS.



Woke this morning and couldnt open my eyes. Even an hour after I woke, I had difficulty opening my eyes. YES swollen eyelids. Guess who had a sad dream last night?



:( I dreamt I died.



Haa yeah. In my dream there was no heaven. I wasn't a ghost. NO MORE EXISTENCE. D: It was quite terrible.



My eyelids still don't feel normal. Hope I don't have a recurring dream tonight.

crazy sat morning

:O WHY DIDNT THIS POST YDAY MORNING:
stupid net malfunction

Well. Didn't go to bed until late this morning because I was doing I shouldn't have bothered with. Glad I finished counting the week's worth of Valentines Merchandise tickets :) It's all really neatly typed up in Excel.



Anyway. Got woken up at 5.30 this morning to be driven to Bonnyrigg to babysit my nieces + newphews (jacinta & co) while their parents went to work/overseas.



HECTIC MORNING. BREAKFAST.

Haa.



That's a meal I hadn't shared with them before. It was crazy. It's so hard to get little kids to eat. I remember when I was a kid, my parents got frustrated everyday during dinner because I would eat very little. I only started to eat huge amounts at the end of primary school.. and by high school, I got my big-eater reputation. I think I remember the time people were really shocked at the amount I ate.



Long long ago, at the end of yr 7, I was at Sam's house with the girls, and Sam's parents had ordered a couple of pizzas for us. I just took one (hawaiian ;) and sat infront of the tv.. and ate and ate... About 15 mins later I realised that all the hawaiian disappeared.. Asked around if there was more hawaiian and people pointed out that they hadn't had hawaiian yet. :



Eugh. I can't tell a story. I can't think properly. My brain is clogged up.

Long story short: I ate the whole pizza. :)

extended rant

why do i always wait.
geez . pathetic.

so sick of it.

ACT NOW!

too much dancing for my lifetime

today. was. so. bloody. hot.

summary of today in a couple of words:

-stressful
-hot
-sweaty
-barely time to eat
-lots of water
-lots of peepee trips

NO REMORSE. NO PATHETICNESS. Just plain old anger and stress clumped up together.


MUST LEARN TO SAY NO! Work load is piling up. I spend wayy too much time doing stuff that's non study.

Perhaps I should quit jazz ensemble. What we do now doesn't interest me anymore. It's too much repetition.. and we don't sing a large variety of songs.

Oh actually a rant for today.
I haven't felt so annoyed in quite a while. Today, people just pissed the shat out of me. I mean what the hell.
Story: Jenns wasn't there for jazz, so we had Wong instead. People around me just TALKED AND TALKED NON STOP even when Wong needed to say something. Freaking disrespect. This would never happen with Jenns. Double standards.
I wanted to freaking scream.
I'm so angry. And this display of disrespect came from people who I love and respect. Disappointing, much? When he tells you to BE QUIET, then BE FREAKING QUIET.
WHEN HE'S GOING THROUGH PARTS, SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET PEOPLE LEARN THEIR PARTS.
Just because you can all read off the score and know your parts well, it doesn't mean the person next to you does too. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO LEARN A SONG WHEN YOU ARE SINGING SOME COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUPID & USELESS NON RELATED SONG SO LOUDLY NEAR MY EAR.

I want to quit. I don't want to sing with this bunch. I'm not freaking musically talented enough.

another face in cyberspace

i havent written to my penpal in yonks.

I cant believe its february. D: in all my notebooks, i've been writing january.
==;

Hours pass by so quickly. but i dont feel like im making any progress. i feel so sluggish and slow.

no pictures to upload. majority luvos with friends :), and i didn't take that many. close up shots of faces which .. arent that great and i guess shirin and cheryl wouldnt approve :P

Had another day with too much time to think. Overthinking things makes me paranoid, worried and a tad sad.

But all is well. Hope you're all well.

snaphappyy

Swim carnival tomorrow
!!

PHOTOS

FOR ALL YOU JIGGERS OUT THERE. I WILL HAVE LOTS OF FUN !

greatest dancer in the world

thats so me 8-) I dance pretty ...damn funny :) According to Dayae, Becky, Michelle, Jen and Alice, the combined efforts of Bosco and I (our attempt to dance) was very amusing and provided at least an hours worth of hilarious entertainment.


Yeah. So I've been a dork for the past 3 hours dancing away in my bedroom. Practising so I can actually look good without making anyone laugh on FRIDAY the 13th of JANUARY. COME IF YOU CAN and watch :)



so funny

Anyway. had a long day today.


MORNING CLASS.
class
FREE: selling merc.
RECESS: singing rehearsal
lUNCH: pref meeting
AFTER SCHOOL: cadets
AFTER CADETS: 30 min talk with the officers

D:



When I finally got home, it was almost time for simpsons to start.


=_=;



anyway. discovered i had INK in MSN! hehe. So I am currently ink battling with Topher. Which is very fun. LOL i am so bad at drawing with a mouse =_=;

BELLE:


VERSE TOPHER:

D: He's so good at drawing with a mouse :O DAMN YOU.

But seriously, so much fun :D

ngaaaaaawww

The weekend went by too quickly.


D: D:


I GOT A HAIRCUT. But the fringe looks disgusting, so I guess I'll hack away at it myself.

Astonishing fact for the day: The day before CNY, the cny sweets cost $3. Today, I saw at tonyon it was $1.80

O_O


BIG RIP, YES?


I got onto the comp to find someone to teach me math.. but the first thing I did was read a blog and watch a video someone posted there.

Felt immense stress today when I was trying to do my math/bio. I just couldnt concentrate, and my dad was being a pain by watching a movie right next to me on his laptop... and my sister just barged in every few minutes just for the fun of it.

Tuesday arvos. LIBRARY. I'm not coming home until the library closes. Oh make that every afternoon that I'm free. D: I'm so bugged by the fact that I planned the perfect Friday arvo chill session.. and I forgot I'm not free on Fridays. D: D: D: This is terrible.


I HAVE READ SO MUCH GOTHIC STUFF MY HEAD IS EXPLOSMING WITH GOTHICNESS I COULD BUILD A CASTLE WTIH CARDS AND MAKE IT LOOK GOTHIC.

Damn its school again :( I find I stress over small things... Like neighbours talking loudly (not mawson.. :P) I SWEAR, THEY WERE BLOODY TALKING ON THE FRONT LAWN... OUTSIDE MY ROOM WINDOW. AND MY DESK IS RIGHT AT THE WINDOW! ! ! *steams blows out of ears* GO TALK INSIDE YOUR HOUSE.


grrr.I feel bi-polar T_T:

oh and happy birthday swami. Hope you have a good one ! I couldn't find a nice sarong. So I'll give you some sort of card that says "COME BACK IN TWO WEEKS" and you'll have some kind DIY sarong that i made :) IT HAS TO BE PURPLE :) AND MANLY..

Oh geez. i do sound bi-polar